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So, now I've seen
  • The first ep of Lie to Me
  • The first season of Being Human
  • The first episode of Sons of Anarchy

    I'm watching Sons of Anarchy as I write this. But the computer I'm using is doing something strange, so I can't concentrate, but I just wanted to document that I was watching this show, and waiting to see what I think of it.
  • Being Human

    Anyone on my flist watch Being Human on the BBC?

    George + Mitchell, come on. It's a natural!

    Writer's Block: Play it again, e-reader

    Which book do you find yourself regularly rereading, and why?

    Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie and Collision Course by K.A. Mitchell

    emergency music need

    If you have Dilate, Not A Pretty Girl or Little Plastic Castles that you can upload somewhere and I can get it today, that would be awesome. I am having a really frustrating day and Ani DiFranco always makes me feel better in these instances.

    so if you could help me out, that would be awesome.

    thank you so much.


    Dear KA Mitchell,

    I love you. I love you beyond reason. I love you through thick and thin. I love you when I'm lacking in light and charging my nook off the cigarette lighter charger in my car so that I can get to Collision Course. I read Joey and Aaron's story to remind myself that love is possible and that wonderful things can happen when life kind of sucks. I read it BEFORE reading Bet Me. Before reading it. KA Mitchell surpassed Jennifer Crusie in terms of comfort reading for me. I can no longer count how many times I have read Collision Course. Seriously.

    But last night, while my stomach hurt and insomnia attacked, I read Bad Company. I love Nate and Kellan and Eli (oh Eli!). I love their struggle, their honesty, their awkwardness. I love them fighting their inner demons and their giant egos. I love them and I swallowed this story in it's whole form - not piece meal email - like the biggest and best thing I've ever eaten.

    i loved this book.

    My life, let me share it with you

    April 2nd, 2011: A Night of Appreciation for Luigi.
  • Luigi was my roommate's mostly lhasa apso. He was short and old and wonderful, but he lost control of his back legs and couldn't walk. It broke our hearts into a million pieces, but Sarah made the decision to put him down because it wasn't fair to him to be in pain the way he way. So...

    April 3rd, 2011: Going to The Vet.
  • We - the wife, the roomie, and I - go to put Luigi down. I have never been with a pet when that happens and it was the most awful experience I had ever experienced. I still can't write about it without crying and feeling sick.

    April 21st, 2011: A Morning of Suckitude.
  • The roommate comes into my room where I am dozing in a vacation-induced haze. She cannot find her laptop. I realize what she's saying and get a horrible clench in my chest. Yes, my fears are realized. We've had a home invasion WHILE WE WERE UPSTAIRS SLEEPING. My laptop is stolen. My laptop which I had not backed up for the week and had 5k of new writing on it, all my music, and a TON of pictures I had not backed up, all my m/m porn, everything - ALL GONE. Yes, I realize being a back up slacker is TOTALLY my fault. Yes, I realize I should not have one object that is so much of my life, but there you go. I did. It was. And it's gone.

    May 17th, 2011: Completely Unexpected Trauma
  • Our cat Fred (picture above or to the left or the right, wherever you see my userpic) had a vet appointment for an ultrasound because our vet thought she felt a mass near his abdomen. The ultrasound indicated that he had a large mass that was not operable and there were other problems going on as well. She said we could take him home, but it would be about making him comfortable. At this point, i imagined we had at least a few weeks before we had to face this. We took him home, where he started to cry and run away (signs that any cat lover will recognize as a death knell sound)and hurried him back. There he lay and maureen - our vet - met us and talked about options and it was clear that something had happened during the ultrasound and the ride home. My sister and mom came, our roommate came, and we said our goodbyes. There I was again. Totally traumatized, and this time without any pictures of him because they were on my laptop which was stolen.

    June 1st, 2011: Tornado Warnings
  • There have been plenty of times where there have been tornado warnings in my life. Plenty of them. Occasionally in our area (Western MA) there have been houses destroyed by some. But never that many. Never such wide spread destruction. Never power out for this many days, national guard called in, roads blocked for over weeks. Not over a tornado at least. We've had things like this with ice before, but it has never affected me so personally and like everyone who has ever experienced a "this won't happen to me" and been slapped in the face, i was slapped in the face. I drive by houses and trees and schools that are gutted, on the ground, gone. It's awful. It's bleak. I don't have words for what it makes me feel. I try, but they aren't coming.

    So yeah, that's the last two months of my life. I'm tired, heart broken, exhausted, and do not know what to do with myself. I have so many things to be grateful for, but it's hard to remember that in the face of the last two months. Even starting PTSD therapy, I'm completely fucked up.
    Woke up this morning to find that someone had broken into the house and stolen my laptop, my roomie's laptop and her wallet. I'm freaking out. I've started changing passwords, but if you get anything strange from me in the next few days, please let me know, so I can give information to the cops.

    If you hadn't recently, please back up your computers and change your passwords. not because i think i have your passwords, but because i hadn't done it in awhile and now i'm fucked at the drive through.

    Diana Wynne Jones

    Elizabeth Taylor and Geraldine Ferraro both hold memories for me. I was saddened to read of them passing away, and I still remember watching the polls intensely when Mondale/Ferraro went up for Pres&V-P (even if I didn't understand why it was significant or for that matter, even what it meant). Neither of these ladies dying touches at my very soul like the death of Diana Wynne Jones.

    You know those books that you read as a child that made you think, "This! This is what I want to do with the rest of my life!" She was one of those authors. When I first read Howl's Moving Castle as a young child, long before the movie came out, I was instantly transported to a world that I wanted to live in, and a romance that I was too young to appreciate but still wrapped my heart in cotton candy and tweeting birds and I just knew that was the relationship I wanted to have. (And I've succeeded. I married a woman I love passionately, but that still doesn't stop us from arguing, magically fixing things, or cutting up things when necessary.)

    I've never seen the movie in full because I saw a brief part of it and was horrified at how it didn't fit in with my vision. I want my memory from that first read straight through my last to be as wonderful. I checked that book out of the library for weeks at a time to read it again and again. I'd pause to give it back when I had to, and then take it right back out. With one of my first paychecks from my first serious job after college, I went to Amazon and ordered the book. I had to order it used because it was out of print. But I got it. In hardback. With the same beautiful cover that I remembered from my childhood and hadn't had ample time to remember during four years of an English degree.

    I still read this book at least once a year to remember what makes my heart go pitter-patter, and why - even when I want to beat my head against a wall or cut off my fingers - I write.

    Diana Wynne Jones, where ever you are, I hope you know that you touched my soul and changed my life forever. Thank you. RIP

    what, who, me, posting? how odd...

    so ... yeah ... i don't know what to say. Too much of this, not enough of that, frustration with all of the other. But on the other hand, unlike many others, my bitching is very calm, quiet, so I am grateful.

    I need new music. I need music for writing. I need the soundtrack to Miss Saigon, and I need suggestions for more music. I need music to set the mood for a potential mafia man or drug lord, and music to set the mood for a hyperactive young grad student with ADHD and too much imagination. I need music that says spooky mystery, and music that says creepy obsession. I need opera music as well.

    Not that I need/i>b that per se, but it would help. Thoughts? Suggestions?

    What I do really need to do is tell you that I love you, and adore you, and will offer whatever support that you need.