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Title: On My Knees I Think Clearer 1/2 (The extended what happened next for Yeah ... Like *That*)
Author: nouveau_monday
Pairings: Luke/Noah
Rating: Adult
Word Count: 8k-ish
Summary: All things are good when Noah finally gets what he wants
Spoilers: through Valentine's Day ... so no one should have to worry.
Disclaimer: If I wrote for ATWT, this is what we all would have seen on friday the 15th of February.
Notes: I have no idea what the song Chocolate by Snow Patrol is about, but that's where I got the title. It spoke to me, and umm, apparently Noah.

Noah jumped at the hiss of the shower, sighed as the hot water pelted his back. Old buildings without water-saver showers were the best. The water pressure was amazing. The noise loud enough to drown out his own thoughts almost. He grabbed the complimentary soap from the side of the tub and began to wash his stomach. Damn! When had Luke done that? Noah counted at least a handful of hickeys on his skin. He remembered the one on his hip, one above his right nipple, but the others? He dripped water into his eyes as he laughed and shook his head.

"Laughing is good. I like you laughing. It makes you seem more awake." Luke pulled back the curtain and entered the shower.

"Hey!" Noah hunched over, hid himself.

"Tell me you aren't hiding from me now, Noah?" Luke stepped forward.

"Maybe I am? What of it?" He stepped under the stream of water, choked on his own startled inhale, froze at Luke's hands on his.

"Well stop it. You're wet, and warm, and hot, and I'm going to stop now because I'm babbling again." Luke pried at Noah's fingers. "Give me the soap. I'll do your back."

Noah coughed again. Every shower scene from every porno he'd ever watched smashed together behind his eyelids. The steam might be coming from him more than the hot water at this point. "Umm, okay." He covered Luke's hand in his, holding it there longer than strictly necessary, before releasing the soap.

"Trade positions with me? You under the spray won't work." Luke tugged Noah forward.

Noah tried to sidestep, but he was startled and the tub wasn't huge. They tangled in each other's limbs. He bit his lip, wrapped his arms around Luke, tugged him closer. "You anywhere works for me." He nuzzled into Luke's neck, licked the warm water off his earlobe. "You everywhere works right now." He wanted on his knees right then, the feel of his boyfriend in his mouth and the warm water a perfect background and curtain to shut everything out but the taste of Luke on his tongue.

Luke laughed. "I thought you were tired?" He rotated them around so he was under the water.

"I was?" Noah grinned. "Guess I got distracted." Water rushed over his fingers, a contrast to the solid feel of Luke's ass under his hands. He pulled Luke closer, let one of his fingers zigzag down his spine. Instead of stopping, he held his breath and continued exploring, his finger slid further and brushed into the crack of his boyfriend's ass. Noah pinned Luke under his gaze as his finger moved, lightly slipped around the hole he hadn't yet seen. He was rewarded with a gasp and a thrust of Luke's hips. Noah raised an eyebrow. "Definitely distracted."

"You don't feel distracted." Luke swallowed. "You feel, umm, focused?"

"Maybe I am? Is that?" Noah shifted his hands to Luke's hips. "Is focused bad?"

"No! No! Not at all." He reached to kiss Noah's forehead. "I want you to touch me, want you to fuck me until I can't walk. Remember? I have all these fantasies." He shifted to put Noah's hands where they had been and then pulled them away. "You can touch me all the time, but later. Right now, I want to wash your back. Turn around, Mayer, and stop distracting me from my goal."

Noah bit the inside of his cheek. Jesus, Luke insisting that he do something just - he rolled his eyes - worked. He turned, braced his legs, crossed his arms against the tile and rested his head forward. Breathe, Noah. Remember to breathe.


Luke sucked his tongue between his teeth and tightened his grip on the soap. One request and Noah complied. How hot was that? He tipped the spray to coat Noah's back, grinning at the shiver that coursed down his back to his thighs. God, he had great thighs. And a great back. And really, now that he knew what Noah wanted, Luke spent some time admiring his boyfriend's incredible ass. Biting it probably wouldn't be the best thing to do right now, but man it was tempting. The curve of his hip, the swell below his lower back. Much like Noah's abdomen, that pale skin begged to be marred, bruised, branded as Luke's and Luke's alone.

When had he become so possessive? He skidded soap across Noah's shoulder blades. Did it matter? He rubbed his thumbs along Noah's spine, admired the shift of muscles under his fingers. He painted filmy bubble designs across hips and sides and more skin than he knew was possible. Each whimper or sigh that escaped Noah's mouth drove Luke forward. His motions became less graceful, more urgent. He could see Noah's muscles tensing and the need to bite rose in Luke's jaw, pooled in his throat.

Luke re-adjusted the shower nozzle to wash off all remnants of soap. He pressed forward to tongue Noah's neck, lap at his shoulder, suck at the skin between shoulder blade and spine. The bitter sweet of perfume failed to deter him from anything other than pouring on more water. His hands fit perfectly over Noah's sides, thumbs resting at the top of his ass, fingers splayed across his hips onto his thighs. Luke had control over how Noah moved, where he shifted. "Want you so much. Don't even think I knew I could want you so much." He worried Noah's ear between his teeth. "It's this physical pain almost, this right now, please, bend him over, take him, now, now, now. I've been tied up in stupid knots since you said something."

He rubbed his chest against Noah's back, felt his own nipples harden. He slipped his soapy fingers forward to cover Noah's dick. "And you want me to do this, Noah? You're sure?" He cradled his fingers around Noah, purred at the reaction his hands received. "I don't want to hurt you, don't want you to be afraid of me."

Noah shook his head, barely made out, "You could never, Luke. And, oh God, would never be afraid of you." He bit at his own arm. "Never been afraid of you."

Luke laughed, stopped his hand. "Never?" He frowned and moved away from the warm hollow of Noah's back. "Really?"

Noah shook his head again. "Never."

"Not even when ..."


And Noah got it all of a sudden, got why Luke had stopped jacking him, got why he was no longer covered by the most incredible blanket of Snyder goodness. He reached behind him until he found Luke's hands, yanked them around him, forcing Luke against his back hard, and shoving himself into the tile more aggressively than intended. Shit, that hurt.

"Jesus, why did you do that? Are you okay?" Luke attempted to release himself.

"No, I'm fucking not okay. I'm an idiot, but you're a bigger one." Noah altered his grip so he had both of Luke's hands in one of his. He rubbed his forehead with the other, refused to look at his boyfriend. "I'll need some aspirin once we're out of the shower. Not yet, Luke."

"But ..."

"No. I don't know how many times I can repeat this, and it's not that I don't want to tell you over and over again, but I just," he swallowed. "I just can't." His throat felt constricted. The water masked the sweat on his palms. He wanted to hurl, but refused to give in. Noah stared at the tile, white square after white square as far as he could see, until his eyes blurred. He ignored the sting and told himself it was only soap in his eyes. "I have never, ever been afraid of you. I couldn't deal with you, couldn't deal with how I felt about you, scared shitless about what my dad was going to say or do. In my whole entire fucking life, I have been waiting for you, even when I didn't know it, didn't want to know it, whatever."

He pressed his forehead to the tile, mixed feeling of pain and solid wall disorienting him all the more. Noah adjusted his arms until Luke was nestled against him. He could feel himself crying for thesecond damned time that night and still. His breath caught. His heart pounded. Luke was so close, pressed up against him so perfectly. Noah didn't know what his moan meant as he slid his body to center Luke's against his better. "Here's what I know, and please listen carefully Luke Snyder. All I know is that I was waiting for you, and then you found me. You found me, and you continue to find me every time. Even when you don't want to. I'm not supposed to need someone, not supposed to want anyone. I'm supposed to be able to be self sufficient, take care of myself at all times and always be a man." He grew dizzy at his father's words spilling from his lips. "Maybe I'm not supposed to get lost or be found, but you make it possible. You make everything so goddamned better and -" Noah twisted his hips, felt Luke's erection rubbing against his ass. He peeled his forehead away, looked over his shoulder, released Luke's hands. "If you don't fuck me soon I might explode. Just," he pushed back, thrilled as Luke's hands steadied themselves on his hips. "Never." He rocked backward, whimpered as Luke's left hand slid from his hip to his ass, while the other one move forward to steady against his abdomen. "Never been afraid of anything except the possibility that I may well die before you're in me." He placed a partial bit of soap in the hand placed against his stomach. "Please Luke, want you so much I nearly gave myself a concussion. I'll beg more later, promise, but right now, god, please ..."


Luke squeezed the soap between his fingers. He couldn't process Noah's words, wanted to hold him as he spat out that god awful crap the Colonel had fed him as a kid. But now was not the time. When the most beautiful man you've ever seen is handing you soap and grinding against you, there's really only one smart options. He coated his fingers in soap, ignored that they might be shaking. He dipped his fingers along Noah's ass, thought of all the times he'd admired it, grabbed it, just fucking wanted it.

He stared at Noah's ears, watched them burning, heard the shallow sounds of them both barely breathing. Now or never, right? Hadn't he thought that earlier? His fingertips moved carefully, circling the soft skin, testing pressure, listening to the noises Noah made. I'll beg more later whispered in his ears. "No more laters, Noah. Right now." Luke latched his teeth into the hollow between Noah's neck and his shoulder, rolled his tongue over the spot and sucked the skin between his teeth until he knew it would bruise. He pushed forward against Noah's virgin ass, contemplated dying as his finger felt the tight heat, prayed he wouldn't come right then and there. They both stopped breathing, but almost as soon, both were panting. All the time Luke gently moved his finger in and out, never past the first knuckle.

He braced himself forward when he felt Noah's knees buckle, switched his mouth from vacuum suction to careful kisses. He shifted his hand so it wrapped around his boyfriend's stomach for balance. He wanted to ask, wanted to wonder, wanted to bury himself inside Noah until Noah could taste him, but instead Luke held him. He changed his finger from in-out to a slow circle and listened for any cue that it was good.

Noah's hips shoving backward was a pretty clear yes.

"God Noah, you're, there aren't words, you're amazing." He tongued his way lower and nipped at his side. He paused, nipped again, and raised his eyebrow at Noah's noises. His boyfriend definitely giggled. Almost killed the mood, but it was so damned cute. Luke switched tactics. He sucked hard against that silk pale skin, sullied it a beautiful purple. On Noah's gasp, he slipped a second finger into him. This time both digits slid in further.

Noah's back arched. His hands reached back, clutched so tightly against Luke he was sure they would leave marks.

Luke froze. "Shit, too much?"

Noah shook his head, leaned back against Luke. "Not enough." He shivered. "I'm so close."

Luke realized the water was getting cold behind them, and he wanted to watch Noah not just feel him. "Would you kill me if I wanted us to move? I really, really want to see you when you come."


He had options. He could whimper, or whine, or cry like he always seemed to do when Luke touched him, but none of those reactions would get him where he ultimately wanted to be. He snorted. Okay, where he wanted Luke to be.

"Noah?" The shyness in Luke's voice battled against the solid feel of his fingers inside Noah.

"I'm not sure I can move, Luke. My body is, well, hmm, umm ..." How could he phrase this? "Otherwise preoccupied. Moving might take more finesse than I can muster." Nice. That sounded all logical and polite and didn't include the phrase, Fuck me now, nor did it include him shoving himself back against Luke's fingers and coming until he couldn't see, well, straight. He choked on another laugh. Maybe he'd lost too much oxygen? Maybe every last drop of blood was in fact in his dick? That would account for the not being able to move and the whole dick-being-hard-enough-to-hammer-railroad-spikes.

"Noah?" Luke's hand began to move back.

"Oh god, just, jesus, umm, gimme a sec? Can't feel my knees. I think I lost them somewhere between you rinsing my back and shoving your fingers in me. They definitely aren't in anyway attached to my legs." He stared down toward his feet. "I see them. Just can't move them exactly."

This time Luke laughed. Noah wondered if Luke's dick was depriving Luke of brain power also? "We should do this right, Noah. Not in a shower rapidly running out of warm water with you practically concussed against the tile. So I'm just gonna ..." He slipped his fingers out.

Noah sighed, trapped in the emptiness of Luke not being there. Somehow the knees he couldn't feel had managed to go even weaker. He wasn't clear on how he knew that. Maybe because all that held him was his nails clawing at the wall and the strength of Luke's legs. Fuck. Luke's legs. How could he be so stupid? They couldn't hold him. They only barely held Luke without the cane in the last few weeks. He forced his body forward, shuddering at the ouch of erection against tile.

"Water's off," Luke whispered. His fingers ran over Noah's back. "Going to grab towels."

Noah identified the swish of the curtain being drawn. The draft of cold air stirred shivers on his skin, but was replaced by the rough warmth of a well bleached towel. His body was on overload, pain and pleasure melding into one. The shivers he got as Luke dried him off were definitely not from the cold, but instead from Luke's mouth whispering obscene promises.


Part Two