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Title: I think we're practicing the same religion
Author: nouveau_monday
Pairing: Noah/Luke
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2.6k
Summary: Just read it.
Spoilers: None, umm, unless you count the notion that someday Luke and Noah will have sex as a spoiler, because right now, I'm not that hopeful.
Disclaimer: I don't own these two characters. I don't own ATWT. If I did, the show would be different.
Note: This is has had no beta. I'm sure there are mistakes. This means you should send me a message if you find any so I can correct this. This is my remix of belyste's amazing and intimidating all the constellations shine down for us to see" for the first ever hayloft remix challenge.
Note2: I can't even begin to explain how incredible this experience was. None of it would have happened if it weren't for having the most amazing piece to jump off from, and ithilien22 to talk with me and angst with me and eventually point me in the right direction with a plot. ladysonsie held my hand a million times and did not mock me when I wondered if as a mod it would be bad if I were late to my own party.
Note3: And finally, this is to mightyten because I miss her terribly and I hope that she is able to return to a life online instead of just a real life soon.

Noah paces. He can't help himself. Back, forth ... Back, forth. Six steps from the bed to the window. Twelve steps from the window to the closet. Six steps to the bed. Rinse, wash, repeat. He wonders idly if he's going to burn a hole in the carpet or the soles of his feet before his head is clear. He glances at the bedside table, at the insidious device gleaming under the dim orange light, mocking him. God, Noah wants to pick up the damned iPod and throw it under the nearest truck. Maybe himself after.

Six steps. Twelve steps. Six steps. Six steps. Twelve steps. Six steps.

Noah breaks his path at step two of six, long enough to reach Luke's iPod, and shuffles through the playlists. There it is. Innocuously between On the Road and Now and Then, is the list smirking back at him. One Night Stand. It's stupid. He knows in his heart that it's stupid. Honest to God, he does. But fuck. What is he supposed to think? George Michael, Duran Duran, Vanessa Carlton, and the list goes on. Beautiful songs, but all about a quick flirtation, a drink, and one idealized, over romanticized night. Never the real thing, never true love. An itch to scratch. A random thought. A moment of boredom.

Oh God, what if Luke doesn't want him anymore Noah tells himself that's crazy talk. It has to be crazy talk.

He returns to his manic pacing, flings the mp3 player against the bed.

"Hi Honey, I'm home." Chlorine enters the room and assaults Noah's nose before Luke closes the door. Luke's wearing green swim trunks and a white T-shirt now damp and almost clear. A towel hangs around his neck. His smile is gorgeous and relaxed.

Noah stares out the window, doesn't want to ask the question burning in his brain, can't figure out how to get the words past his lips.

"Noah?" Luke presses his chest against Noah's back, wraps damp arms around his stomach, crosses hands across Noah's hips. "Is everything okay? You were gonna take a nap when I left, and now you look like someone kicked your dog. Did something happen? Faith? Grandma? Mom? Anyone? Hey, are you okay?" He turns Noah around and cups his jaw with his hands. "Look at you, you're pale as a ghost. Lie down. Come on. You're shaking."

"I didn't mean to look, didn't mean to look. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Noah babbles apologies, stumbles to the bed. He curls in on himself, clutches at a pillow, flinches as the damned iPod digs into his side.

"Woah, woah." Luke rests the back of his hand against Noah's forehead. "You don't have a fever, but you're not making sense. What happened? You're starting to freak me out."

"I wanted to listen to something, to help me fall asleep, y'know? So I grabbed your iPod. I thought it might be a nice change." Noah's voice fades.

"Not seeing the problem here yet. I don't care if you use it, as long as we remember to charge it tonight before we get back on the road tomorrow. Or we can listen to yours." Luke traces patterns with his fingers over the knots in Noah's back. "Hey, that's not it. What's really wrong?"

"Do you want to be dating me?" Noah dashes at his eyes, embarrassed. "I know I've screwed up a million times. The Colonel, Ameera, the army. I'd understand if you want someone else instead. I know I'm not perfect. I work long hours. I'm a black and white movie snob. I get that."

Luke rolls Noah onto his back, straddles his thighs. "What on earth are you talking about? Of course I want to be dating you. I love you, you moron. The Colonel, Ameera, the army, look, I know I maybe didn't understand it at first, but it's all part of who you are. And I love who you are, wouldn't want you any other way. So tell me what happened? Did somebody say something? Did you fall asleep and have some weird dream you aren't shaking?" He kisses Noah's forehead, his eyelids, his nose. "Love you so much. Never gonna let you go."

"Then why do you have a playlist for one night stands? Why are you even thinking about one night stands? I know you haven't had one. You wouldn't do that, especially not with us, you know, and I know that. And I know you love me, and aren't going to leave me, but all of a sudden, I just felt like maybe I wasn't enough, wasn't good enough, you know, because God, Luke." Noah shifts himself, grabs at his boyfriend, buries himself in the crook of his neck. The scent of pool water and hotel shampoo do nothing to drown out the clean spice that has come to mean home for Noah. His breath tastes sour in his mouth from tears and panic. He sucks at Luke's neck desperately, soothes the sting of small bites with his tongue. "I couldn't get these awful visions out of my head and you weren't here, and I knew you were taking a swim, but I was so lost. Why do you have that playlist? What does it mean?"

Luke cards his fingers through Noah's hair. He bites back a laugh, shifts it to a whimper when Noah tongues behind his ear. "Hey, hey, easy. It's mood music. Not for having one night stands, but, well, you're gonna think this is stupid. I love the songs. They're really sexy. And if I want to write sexy, I go to that." He bites at his lip. "See, stupid, right? But nothing to worry about. Nothing to cause this worry. I'm so sorry. God, you have no idea." He rubs his palm over Noah's heart in steady circles. "It's only you, always you. No one else. Promise."

Noah's laugh is wet, watery. "I'm an asshole."

"No you're not."

"Yeah, Luke, I really am. I don't know what came over me. Guess maybe I'm worried about leaving Chicago. I don't think I'm ready to return to Oakdale and my real life again. This vacation has meant everything to me."

"Me too. We deserved it." Luke dips his head to kiss Noah's throat, lathe his Adam's apple. "And, you know, umm, maybe we can make tonight really different. Give us something to look forward to once we're home, when we get cabin fever."

"Does it involve you, me, waterproof lube and the hot tub? I could definitely look forward to that." Noah arches his neck back to assist Luke in marking him. "And Ben&Jerry's wouldn't hurt my feelings either."

Luke reaches for the button fly of Noah's jeans, flips them open while he makes his suggestion. "What about a gay club, down town, and you fucking me blind in an alley?" He opens his eyes wide, stares at Noah without blinking. "That's what my playlist is about. It's not about some stranger. It's about you. Sometimes, I have these fantasies."

His hand is warm and rough against Noah's dick, one, two slow, controlled tugs. "Nngh? Nnghuh?" Noah's hips thrust up, seeking out what is just out of reach.

"In these fantasies, I'm not me. And you're not you. I mean, we're still us, but we're different. All the time different, but all the time us." Luke leans over, fumbles around in the drawer, past the Gideon's Bible and the room service menu, past the TV remote and instructions for wireless. He grabs the travel size bottle of KY and the speakers for his iPod. His legs clamp around Noah's for balance. "Close your eyes for a moment, okay. Trust me."

Luke waits.

Noah shuts his eyes.

"Keep 'em shut, Mayer. Promise."

"I promise, I promise. It's the least I can do after throwing a hissy like a dumb kid."

Luke plugs in the speakers, rolls the small bottle in his hand to heat it. "Hey, don't call my boyfriend a dumb kid. He's not, you know. He's hardworking, dedicated, really smart. But sometimes, sometimes he has a lot of self doubt. We all do. It's only natural I guess. Wish he could see himself like I see him."

The music starts up. Duran Duran's Save A Prayer eases forth.

"Sometimes, after a long day, he likes to slip out to the clubs. Worn around the edges, hot as hell. He'll let the music overtake him, watch the people writhing on the floor. And then, when the time is right, he'll lock eyes with some unsuspecting guy." Luke chucks his shorts on the floor. His shirt follows. He bends to slide two slick fingers inside himself. The burn of pain he hides does nothing to disuade him from his intended goal. He waits until his voice won't crack. "And sometimes, he'll see the right person staring back. A little shy, a little unsure, but they notice each other, and it's like lightening between them. Dangerous, but necessary, casualties be damned."

Noah's eyes are still closed. His eyelashes flutter as he is lost to the hypnotizing tale Luke spins.

Luke wipes his sticky fingers with a tissue. He's not wide enough, but at least it's something. He leans over the bed, curls his fingers into denim and cotton-covered elastic. "Hips up," he prompts. "Eyes down," he reminds. Luke takes a moment to swallow, to savor, to thank whomever may be listening where ever they may be listening, that Noah found Oakdale, WOAK, and Luke. He contemplates pinching himself, again, like always, but has much better uses for his hands. "Shirt too."

Noah reaches back, tugs his shirt at the neck, rids himself of it, holds it in front of him for Luke to take. The presentation, the trust Noah offers, may be an apology as much as anything else, but Luke doesn't care. There are miles of naked skin in front of him, warm, willing. He lays an open-mouthed kiss on Noah's ankle, then behind his knee. He trails his tongue in lazy swirls up the sensitive skin of inner thigh, scrapes his teeth across the valley at Noah's hip.

"So this guy, the hard working one watching people dance. He can't help himself, drawn to this stranger new to his town. They don't speak, really, no names are said. Now isn't the time. Here isn't the place. Lost in the rhythm of George Michael and the bodies surrounding them, they grind against each other on the floor. It's obvious to both of them where this is going. No pretense or illusions, no shy words of love, or practiced desire." Luke pours lube into the palm of his hand, fists Noah's dick so it gleams even in the soft light of the room.

"Then what?" Lost in his story, Luke is startled by the rough edge of Noah's voice. He is fast becoming unstrung. His hands white-knuckle the headboard behind him.

"There are no drinks, no small talk. They half-push, half-pull each other down a dark hallway and out the side door. It doesn't take much from there. The stranger, new in town, he pulls a rubber from his back pocket. Faster than either expected, he rolls it down onto the other guy, drops to his knees and swallows him whole." Luke mimics his words. They haven't used condoms in months, but it doesn't matter. This is for effect, for the perfect story. It's part of the game.

He collects saliva in his mouth, coats the latex barrier as well as possible. Luke's no longer familiar with the taste of latex, takes great comfort in that fact. He adds some lube to his own spit for his comfort. The whimpers and almost incoherent pleadings spilling off Noah make it clear that he's not paying attention to what's going on to know the difference between KY and Luke.

Save A Prayer switches into Fastlove. The irony is not lost on Luke.

"So this stranger, he spins them both, places himself, chest first against the wall. Want you inside me, he pleads. Want to feel you fuck me into the wall. Been staring at you since I entered, and I just want to lose myself, lose the day, while you lose yourself in me. Can you do that?" Luke tongues Noah's balls, sucks each gently into his mouth, rolls them. He reaches over his boyfriend's erection to bite his stomach. "And the guy, the guy who's exhausted from too much work and not enough fun, nods. I can do that. It's all I want, he says. All I need."

Luke lifts up, guides the head of Noah's dick to his ass, shifts a little and releases himself in one hard, and not unpainful, move. "Oh my God. Oh fuck. Fuck."

Noah's eyes fly open. His hands reach to cradle Luke's hips. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? What do you need me to do?"

Luke sticks the tip of his tongue between his teeth, rocks his body up and down in the shallowest of waves. "Just want to lose myself, lose the day, while you lose yourself in me."

"I can do that." He knows his line, was listening. "It's all I want. All I need." Noah thrusts up, while he holds Luke in place. Each movement stronger, more precise than the one before, until he is hitting Luke's prostate consistently. "You know, I don't usually do something like this. Meet a stranger. Take him outside."

Luke reaches forward, rests his arms on Noah's chest. He pinches at Noah's nipples, bends forward to suck a bruise at his clavicle. "I don't either. But you're everything I needed. Everything I want." His adjusted position is all that does it. "Oh god, so close. So fucking close. Please. Touch me." He dots his lips to Noah's skin in desperate movements. "Need you to get me off."

Noah complies. He tips Luke's chin up so they are staring at each other, then reaches futher to palm Luke's dick. It doesn't take much. Eye contact, the barest of strokes combined with the damn near precision attack on his dick. And then they're both coming. Whispering each other's names as their orgasms and aftershocks shake their worlds.

"Holy god."

"Now do you see?" Luke squeezes around Noah, watches shudders play out across his face. "That's why I have music. That's my fantasy. You. Me. A back alley. I don't want anyone else but you. Can't imagine a time when I ever would. But sometimes I like to not be Luke Snyder for awhile. Maybe it's the writer in me? Surely you can understand that, Mister Director."

"I guess maybe I do. I just never thought about it quite like this. You're incredible. I'm going to jerk off for the rest of my life just thinking of you talking the way you did. And this? Fuck. You have no idea how sexy you are. How sexy this was." Noah encases Luke in his arms, rolls them so they're both on their sides, with his dick still buried balls deep. "You're amazing. I'm sorry I freaked out."

"Don't be sorry, Noah. Just, I don't know, believe in yourself." He captures Noah's hand in his, kisses their enjoined knuckles. "I was on Google Maps while you were asleep earlier. I have the perfect place in mind. It kinda reminded me of Yo's." He arches one of his eyebrows. "We have to leave tomorrow, I know that. But tonight we can go out, forget that there's anyone in the world but us."

Feedback is love. I'm far too anxious about this for my own good.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 1st, 2008 05:17 am (UTC)
YOU DID IT!! Well done, sugar. I can't wait to read it! This is totally going to be my reward as soon as I get mine done...

Oct. 1st, 2008 12:06 pm (UTC)
I will not ask why you were worried. I think it's brilliant, but to ask a writer why she's worried is stupid, because we're terribly insecure individuals.

But this...pure love. I love that Noah is all neurotic, because I can picture that. And Luke is reassuring and has this special playlist just for them. His narrative throughout...OMG! I have no words.

Simply beautiful and brilliant. Again, I bow to your wonderful talent. ~Ali
Oct. 1st, 2008 11:47 pm (UTC)
I'm going to jerk off for the rest of my life just thinking of you talking the way you did. And this? Fuck. You have no idea how sexy you are. How sexy this was."

That pretty much sums up this entire fic for me. This was SEXY, Monday.

SO SEXY. Just Luke leading Noah into that fantasy step by step until they were both completely lost in it? That was SO HOT. And with the music playing in the background? I can picture it CLEARLY. I can hear it CLEARLY. For some reason I think this was one of your more vivid fics, like visually. It plays out in my head perfectly.


♥ ♥ ♥!!!

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )