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Yeah ... Like *That*

Title: Yeah ... Like *That* (1/2)
Author: Nouveau_Monday
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: Adult
Warnings/Spoilers: Up through Valentine's Day, and then it's what should have happened.
Summary: A night at the Lakeview. Noah admits what he really wants from Luke.






Luke leaned his head against Noah's chest. He could hear the steady drum of his boyfriend's heartbeat speed up as he scraped his fingers under Noah's sweater. Luke flattened his hand across his ribs. He smiled at the easy rise and fall of Noah's breathing. They had come a long way since the summer. "Do you remember when you first came to Oakdale?"

"You mean when I was lost and late, just ran away from a huge fight with the Colonel, and then there I was trying to figure out Maddy and you were an asshole?" Noah laughed. "Yeah, I vaguely remember that day."

"I was an asshole, wasn't I?" Luke leaned back to bite Noah's ear. "It's a good thing I got over that."

Noah tightened his grasp on Luke. "Not like you were the only one who needed to get over things." He kissed the top of Luke's head. "You were such a grouch. Always running away. Always so moody. No wonder it took me so long to figure things out. It didn't make sense that I kept wanting to find ways to be around you when I clearly pissed you off. And then there was Maddy." Noah closed his eyes. "I was the asshole."

"Maybe we both were?" Luke shrugged. "We're here now." He pressed chilled lips to Noah's neck.

"Yep." Noah breathed as he shifted.

"And it's not too weird? You're not angry about the farm instead of an apartment and crazy parties with hot tubs and hot guys?" Luke's hand dashed over Noah's stomach.

Noah reached under his sweater and held Luke's anxious fingers. "It's not weird. Your family, this farm, it's amazing. I don't need crazy parties or hot tubs, and I already have the hot guy. Some day you have to stop worrying. It's not good for you. Emma says it gives you wrinkles." He thumbed a gentle circle against Luke's temple.

"It's probably too late for me then. What with dad and mom and everything, I bet I'll have grey hair before Valentine's day." He brushed at his hair, turned his head toward the porch light. "Do you see any?"

Noah ran his fingers through Luke's hair, rubbed at his scalp and down to his neck. "Maybe one or two, but they make you look distinguished." He dug into the tension at Luke's back, massaged his thumbs over the knots in his shoulders. "Here, shift a little, you need this. Why were you asking about when I first got here, anyway?"

"I don't know. Just thinking."

Noah waited for Luke to continue. He hit a pressure spot and listened to the heavy exhale of Luke's breath. "Just thinking about what?"

"This stuff with my parents has me messed up. It's fixed and dad and mom have been really close, but I'm caught up in the maybes and the could-have-beens. What if I hadn't come out to you, hadn't told you I liked you? I don't know how I'd have faced this by myself" He rolled his back. "You have great hands."

"Relax, would you? I can feel your muscles tensing." Noah watched his boyfriend undulate under his fingers. Sneaking kisses was not enough. Not since New Years. He shifted to hide his erection. Luke was upset and he was getting hard. He sucked. Correction, he wanted to be sucking. Unsuccessfully, Noah tried to block the images of Luke naked above him, the sensation of Luke's mouth on his dick. He shifted against the pressure in jeans. "You did tell me. I'm glad you did. It was time to stop lying to myself. Imagine if the Colonel knew that all this happened because he told me to wear a tie."

Luke laughed. "I never thought of it that way. It really is all his fault, isn't it."

"All those important moments that my fa-," he swallowed, "that man created even when he didn't want them. That first kiss, you telling me you wanted me to be your boyfriend, you first saying you loved me, hell, you stood up while you were shouting at him." Noah slipped his hands around and across Luke's stomach before pulling him close to his own chest. "You're here with me now, alive, and I'm here with you, out, and we can just pretend he doesn't exist. I have a real family now."

Luke nuzzled at Noah's jaw. "You do, screwed up as we are, you're stuck with us."

Noah tightened his grip. "Just where I want to be." He loved the warmth of Luke against him, loved his honesty and compassion, hell, just loved everything about him. His brain raced to replay their conversation, something nagging at him. Grey hairs by Valentine's day? Why, why, why had he brought up that damned day? Valentine's day, rose petals on duvet covers, locker rooms, what was expected of him? They hadn't talked about it. He didn't want to bring it up, didn't want to sound stupid and screw things up. Hallmark holidays sucked more than regular holidays. Damnit.

"Hey," Luke tugged at Noah's scarf. "Where'd you just go?"

Noah blinked. "Sorry, just, thinking about things."

"Yeah, got that from how you nearly tore my coat." His hands covered Noah's. "All of a sudden you were white-knuckling my clothes, and while, you know, I could hope that this was the start of something exciting, it didn't seem like it. And my family's inside." The back of Luke's thighs heated the front of Noah's as he moved. "Was it talking about your dad?"

Noah breathed. "Something like that." Or not. His body responded to Luke as it always did. Liquid fire replacing anything necessary, like blood or oxygen. His father didn't belong anywhere in this picture. No one belonged in that picture. "I have studying I should be doing." He forced his fingers to unclench, forced his pulse to stop racing, crushed his desire.

"Now?"

"Yeah, now." He bit the inside of his cheek, watched the confusion play out across Luke's face as he turned to face him. "Luke," he brushed his hands into Luke's hair. "Can we find some time to maybe be alone maybe for ... just soon ... after I finish this ..."

"Studying?" Luke frowned.

"Yeah." Noah leaned into his boyfriend. He smelled like hay, woodsmoke, cold air and everything right in the world. "The test is on Thursday, so I've got some time, but calculus was never my best subject and I need to start clearing out those gen eds." Standing brought his hips in line with Luke's, his dick painfully aware of what he wanted but wasn't about to ask for. He rolled his head back, eyes closed, and tried not to groan. He could just turn him around, fall to his knees and suck him off against the wall. Jesus, I'm a fucking girl. He jammed his hands into his pockets so he didn't, wouldn't, couldn't grab at Luke.

"You do that. I should start Fathers and Sons." He laughed. "Who knew I would like Russian lit so much? I need to check in on the girls, but then I'll meet you in the kitchen? Snacks and homework sound like a plan?" He rested for a moment, warm and solid, against Noah.

"A definite plan. I left one of the books in my truck. Meet you inside." Noah sprinted through the porch door. The even colder air bit at his lungs. He breathed against his hands, curled into a standing semi-fetal position. Damn. He punched his truck. "Shit!" He shook his hand and winced. The pain momentarily distracted him from his aching dick and pounding heart. He yanked the door open and grabbed the math book from the passenger seat. His knuckles stung with scrapes, but no blood. Maybe Luke wouldn't notice? He remembered just in time to not cross his sore fingers as he headed back toward the farm.

Evenings like this were one of Noah's top three all time favorites. Companionable and not hostile silence was new. He felt stupidly safe and almost happy. Probably would have been entirely happy if it weren't for what wasn't being said into that silence. He tried to envision what the conversation might sound like:

"So, umm Luke, that was a one time thing, huh?"
"What? What was a one time thing, Noah?"
"You. Me. Your bedroom. Your mouth on my dick. My mouth on yours.
That thing."
"No. No way, Noah. Just haven't found the time or space since. I want things with us to be special."
"Me too, Luke, promise. But it's hard. No pun intended. I miss that closeness. Sometimes I just want to swallow you whole."
"Just let me get things right with my family, and we'll be back on track. Promise. I really want you."


Sometimes the mention of Luke's family made him feel so very fucking alone. Holden was great, but maybe, just a little bit, Noah wished everything hadn't turned out so perfectly. Maybe it would have put them back on equal terms. He wanted to punch himself in the face. How could he think something like that? After everything the Snyders had done for him. He growled at his calculus book.

"Wow, you really don't like math." Luke stood behind Noah and rubbed his shoulders. Tension bloomed under his fingers and muscles appeared to tighten. What was that about? "Can I help?"

"Can you sit in my ear somehow on Thursday and whisper me the answers?"

Luke flushed. Sitting on Noah, whispering things in his ear, those thoughts and so many more engulfed his brain. And Thursday was Valentine's day. Noah probably thought it was a stupid holiday. For years, since he had come out, Luke had felt the same way. For once he wouldn't wear black on the fourteenth. A smile teased his lips. "I don't think that would help with the test. I might be a distraction if I was sitting that close while you tried to work." He nipped his teeth into Noah's earlobe. He tongued across the soft flesh. "I'd hate to be responsible for your grade suffering." Luke admired the relaxed arch of his boyfriend's neck. He couldn't resist running his fingertips over Noah's throat while he swallowed. He dipped lower under the neck of Noah's shirt, rubbed his thumbs across his collarbone, stretched his hands to palm at Noah's muscles. "We should definitely find some place to celebrate once you're done with your test. I'm sure you'll be great."

"I appreciate your confidence. I don't think I can think right now, but I'm sure that once I can, I'll find your promise inspiring."

Luke tipped to look over Noah's shoulder and down to his lap. "Looks like you're already inspired."

Noah's ears burned bright pink. "Maybe," he muttered. He closed his eyes. "I should study." Luke's nails scraped along his skin. "Your sisters are right upstairs. And, to paraphrase you, at your grandma's house ... no." He frowned as his dick and his mind remained firmly split on this.

"But we ... ?"

"Yeah, yeah we did." He pried one of Luke's hand from inside his shirt and laced their fingers. "And it was incredible, okay? But there's a lot up for your family now, and you don't want to add to that. I get it. So when we're next together, it's going to be great for both of us. Even if it kills me and my calculus book in the mean time."

Luke grumbled. "Might kill me too, y'know." He traced Noah's hand, felt the slight swelling. "Hey, what happened to you? Looks like you were in a fight. When did that happen? Are you okay?"

Noah snorted. "I'm fine, and no, it wasn't a fight, unless it was just me with my own private fight club going on. Just," he shrugged, stood up. "I just needed to release some tension before I studied."

Luke frowned. "So you, what, attacked a random fence post that stepped in front of you?" He rained kisses across Noah's knuckles, tongued his way over his fingers.

He winced. His stomach clenched. His heart throbbed on each word. "The door of my truck, not a fence post. Luke - " he attempted to move his hand.

"Shut up, Mayer." Luke flipped over Noah's hand to lick his palm. He bit down, skidding his teeth up from his wrist and down from the center of Noah's palm. "Want you so much all the time. I can't help myself. You fill my waking, sleeping, every thought. It's not just you who sublimates with food."

Noah swallowed. "Oh god."

"Yeah."

"We should ..."

"Study, right. You should study. I should read." Luke released Noah's captured hand. He slid his way to Noah's back, pressed his hands into Noah's hips and Noah's ass into him. "Studying is good. And I'll behave real soon, but first." He rocked his legs forward, bit his tongue at each scrape of denim against denim. "I can get you time alone with me. After your test." He kissed Noah's neck.

*****

Noah felt ridiculous in the store. Chocolates, hearts, roses jacked up a million times, diamonds. Over commercialized, over sentimentalized, over feminized insanity. He flipped through the racks of cards. "Nothing, nothing, nothing. Lame. Stupid. Oh god, awful. Nothing, nothing, nothing." He moved to the blank cards, and there, hidden among them, was the perfect one. A sunset over a farm, all in black and white with nothing inside to embarrass either of them. He flushed as he paid for it, stupid as that was, not like anyone knew. Not like it mattered. He straightened his shoulders. "Thanks, my boyfriend will love it." Noah resisted winking at the clerk. Okay, so maybe he hadn't done a good job with restraining himself.

Next on his list was the Lakeview. He paid in cash, under the name Peter Parker, and didn't give a fuck how ridiculous that would be. No way was he going to let Luke be contemplating whether or not his mom knew they were there. Talk about a buzz kill. No family but the two of them was his mantra. No family but the two of them. Noah took stock of the different things Luke had said recently, from the comment about not watching porn ... at his grandmother's, to every time he mentioned his parents. He thought he knew what was going on. He hoped he was right.

Sappy card, check. Room booked, check. Room service for breakfast, check. No rose petals. No locker rooms. Stop thinking about that! Condoms, check. Lube, three different kinds because he just didn't know, check. And why were they never showing lube on stupid television? No ties or any other things to keep someone still. Music and the speakers for his iPod, check. This was going to be okay, more than okay, it was going to be amazing. As long as he didn't screw something up or say the wrong thing.

His knuckles were healed and he thought he might have aced his Calculus test. He'd be meeting Luke in forty five minutes. Enough time to think of a suitable thing to write in that card. Why couldn't he have been the writer just once? He rolled his neck, rotated his shoulders to loosen up. More minutes later than he'd like to recall, he had it. Noah wrote as carefully as he could, signed it 'Love, Noah' and waited until the ink dried before sticking it in the envelope. He popped a stick of gum to rid himself of the sweet sticky glue on his tongue. There were much better flavors waiting to be tasted.

Everything was as ready as it was going to be.

*****


Part Two